When people first think about the word jealousy, they get negative thoughts about it but jealousy is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s natural to feel jealous from time to time. However, jealousy is bad when it gets too much (that is when it starts to consume us). Hence, the necessity to deal with jealousy.
Jealousy is an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has – according to Merriam Webster’s dictionary. Jealousy sets in when we believe that somebody’s life is a lot simpler or more comfortable than ours. We see the positive aspect of their life and the negative aspect of ours. Mary Schmich said, “Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes behind”. You can’t always be on top. That’s life for you. In this article, we will highlight good ways to genuinely deal with jealousy so you don’t risk an extraordinary relationship with silly neurosis.
Causes of Jealousy
Learning and knowing the possible cause of jealousy puts you a step ahead in dealing with it.
Fear of being abandoned – One of the underlying drivers behind jealousy is fear. The fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected, or a fear of losing the adoration for your partner.
Insecurity – “A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. It is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity”. – Robert A. Heinlein
Problem with self-image – Having a negative self-picture is another cause of jealousy. If you consider that you look unpleasant or you are not beautiful or handsome, then the chances of feeling jealousy every time you meet a person who looks better than you increase.
Lack of self-confidence – The main cause for feelings of jealousy are your doubts regarding your talents or skills. If you were one hundred percent positive about yourself, you wouldn’t have suffered from any jealousy feelings.
Learn more about self-confidence HERE
Bad experiences with past relationships – this is also one the cause of jealousy. Due to bad experiences, you can easily feel suspicious and envious in your present relationship.
How to Properly Deal With Jealousy
Identify the cause of your jealousy
The first step to overcoming something is identifying the cause. The cause will give you a hint on how to go about it. Awareness of the cause of your jealousy will permit you to simply accept that your envy is maximum possibly unjustified and consequently less complicated to conquer.
Manage your stress
Managing your stress can help deal with jealousy. Stress and nervousness can be a major factor in feeling jealous so ensure you neutralize this with stress management techniques. Exercise, reflection, eating great and anything that underpins your psychological and physical development will help towards all types of negative feelings.
Cultivating your self-confidence, knowing about your places of solidarity, and knowing for sure that you are commendable can be sufficient to kill any feeling of jealousy. After all feeling of weakness which originates from the absence of self-assurance causes these aches of jealousy.
Don’t act on your feelings
It is hard not to act the way you feel. The feeling of jealousy or some other emotions isn’t the issue, the genuine difficulty begins when you start acting on that jealousy and let it devour you. You can feel the feeling, yet you don’t need to act on it.
Say it out
If you’re feeling anger, frailty, and envious, the most perfect way is to express this to the other individual. Keeping it in you will cause it to rot and will manifest in a possibly bad way.
One of the most reasons why individuals get envious is that they have low self-esteem and frailty issues. They tend to think that they are not good enough. You have to know that there’s a reason why your partner liked you from the beginning. If you would like a few reaffirmations or appreciation, don’t waver to inquire about that as well. Then another time you’re feeling jealous, keep in mind that your partner is with you because they need to be with you because of your positive qualities.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Remember that your confidence takes a plunge when you begin contrasting yourself with others. You have to understand that every person is unique in different ways. Because somebody got something when he was 20 years doesn’t suggest that each person needs to get that at 20. you can still get that thing later.
Lastly, envy Can be destructive and serve as a toxin in one’s life. Like I said earlier, it is natural to be jealous but we shouldn’t let it override us. Ann Brashares said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not”. Jealousy has made most of us desire what we have not, thereby leading us into self-destruction. The spirit of envy can destroy; it can never build, said Margaret Thatcher ( former prime minister of the united kingdom ). If you follow the above suggestions and strategies, you would be in a better position to manage it and build a good life.
I would like to know your thoughts and contribution in the comment section below.