Are you finding compliments fishing? Asking your partner “where you are going”, despite knowing the answer? Seeking extra attention even if you spent the whole day together? Perhaps you are the type who asks his or her partner constantly about the time spent with a colleague who is only but a friend. If you exhibit any of these, it is as a result of relationship insecurities However, If you really want to deal with relationship insecurity, you are at the right place.
It can be very painful and upsetting to feel insecure in your relationship. It can manifest itself in all kinds of ways including the ones stated above. You may feel that your partner is always about to break up with you. You may find it difficult to trust them not to cheat. Or you may feel that your connection has grown weaker and weaker for a long time. Insecurity can make you see problems where they didn’t exist, turning what a good relationship you should have had into a short, dismal failure.
In some ways, insecurity is good because it makes you work really hard in your relationship and your partner more appreciated. If however, insecurity becomes too much, the relationship can create a toxic atmosphere and damage your confidence. It can even separate partners that love and care for one another.
So how would you remove this obstacle out of your own way? How would deal with relationship insecurity? The first and very important step is to identify that you are insecure. Then follows by other tips I will be highlighting in this article.
What are the causes of relationship insecurity?
Before you can deal with relationship insecurity, you have to understand properly the causes of insecurity in a relationship.
Low self-esteem/confidence – A lack of self-confidence is often the main cause of insecurity in a relationship. If a partner seems to have harmful limiting convictions, such as having fear of failure or thinking that they don’t deserve love, they will not be able to completely trust, and trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you constantly question your own emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, you will not only end up putting these doubts into your relationship and your partner but will also create a number of irrational thoughts and concerns that only further amplify those feelings of insecurity. So it is necessary to build your self-confidence/esteem.
Negative past experience – Many of us have left certain relationships either because something wrong happened or because the very nature of the relationship itself was just too toxic. The healthy thing to do is to leave these negative memories, while we leave past those relationships. However, some of us eventually retain these negative feelings and even bring them as unresolved emotional baggage into our subsequent relationships. This creates insecurity and anxiety that we end up bringing onto our new relationship because we’re subconsciously holding them against whatever pain or hurt our ex inflicted on us.
Upbringing – Psychologists believe that the more likely insecurities are in their relationships for people with problematic childhood, as they might be neglected. This could be because while they were growing up, their emotional needs were not met. Therefore, in their adulthood they have insecurities.
How to overcome relationship insecurity
Boost your self-confidence – Insecurities are often difficult to overcome. They’re the lice of your emotional stability: troubling and difficult to get rid of. The best way to overcome your insecurities is to improve your self-esteem.
How are you going to do it? Self-care can be as simple as, beginning to exercise, or doing something you really enjoy. It’s best to focus on one habit you really want to stop and one you want to start.
Stop being too suspicious over nothing – We all interact with individuals of different genders. Just because people of different gender are friends doesn’t mean that there Is something more to the story.
Stay away from snooping on your partner’s phone, Facebook posts, or email address. While this can briefly relax your fears if you see nothing suspicious, it is also a habit that has the potential to become addictive, not to mention detrimental to the trust in your relationship, if your partner finds out.
Learn how to communicate efficiently – Communication is important in all aspects of life, but it’s particularly important if you’re in a relationship where you’re feeling insecure. The easiest way to deal with relationship insecurity is to connect effectively with your partner. What is your partner’s communication style? What kind of communication style do they have? You can talk it over again and again. Resolving lingering problems can be difficult unless you’re truly connecting with your spouse on their level.
Stop putting yourself in comparison to others – Particularly when it comes to your significant other’s ex-lovers. It’s one of the leading causes of relationship conflict, and while it may be natural and even fair, some can still find a way to make it a problem, even though the reasons aren’t there.
Insecurity and envy are a deadly combination, and how partners deal with the challenges that arise from these pairs will make or break a relationship.
Stop claiming that you’re insecure – This is a crucial step if you want to deal with relationship insecurity. if you’re currently working on enhancing yourself, particularly your sense of security, you’re effectively changing your narrative. This is unlikely if you want to mark yourself as “an insecure individual” or if you worry about the many confidence pitfalls on a regular basis. Once you’ve eliminated the negative thoughts, you will begin to change your behavior.
Trust yourself and your partner – When I say that trust is the foundation of happy, stable relationships, nobody would be surprised. Trust means not only being able to share your deepest secrets with your partner without fear of them being revealed to anyone but also knowing that they mean what they say. That they won’t betray or hurt you.
Living up to one’s promise, being emotionally and physically involved in the relationship, and being responsible to one another are also ways for people in a relationship to exercise trust. It’s also important to believe in your own instincts. Do not doubt your partner if they have never given you cause to. However, if you have a deep nasty doubt at your core that something isn’t right, trust it!
Meet each other’s needs – Insecure feelings in a relationship are often a sign that those desires aren’t being fulfilled. Any single person on the planet is affected by six fundamental human needs. We just want to know that we can avoid discomfort and enjoy pleasure; we want diversity in our lives; we want to feel important; we need to be connected to others, and growth and commitment help us achieve fulfillment. These requirements are ranked differently by each person. Which one is the most crucial to you? Is your relationship assisting you in meeting this need? If not, how can you improve your relationship to feel more loved and supported if it isn’t already?
Accept the things you can’t change and move on – Don’t be sad about something you can’t get back or the things you can’t undo in your relationship. Our inability to recognize that the problems we see and face with our partners are part of life is one of the causes of insecurities. You can, though, make things easier.
Start with how you see yourself and how you react to new situations, incidents, and experiences. Do you respond angrily? If you have a tendency to be anxious? Or do you embrace them with maturity, allowing you to cope and survive?
Stop Overthinking – Overthinking is a no-win situation. If you dwell on a negative feeling, it can become more important and pervasive than it actually is (not to mention draining your energy in the process). Overthinking will find you a pessimistic or insecure thought if you don’t already have one. It’s not a good habit in general because it causes stress, anxiety, and tension within oneself, but in the case of your relationship, it spells catastrophe.
Don’t let your insecurities and self-doubt destroy your relationship. Reduced stress and increased relationship satisfaction are possible side effects of letting go of insecurity.